The Rapist

Andy : dude, i think that's the culprit..
Evan : why did u say so??
Andy : look at his name tag..
Evan : what's wrong with it..
Andy : it writes, John McEnroe The Rapist..
Evan : ........
Andy : ........
Evan : dude.. it's therapist..

Matador

C(customer) : waiter!
W(waiter) : yes, sir?
C : what is this restaurant's specialty?
W : bull's balls.
C : huh?
W : we get those from the bulls that was killed by the matador.
C : owh.. then give me a set please..
W : yes sir.
C : mmm.. this is quite delicious.. i'll come again tomorrow..

the next day..

C : waiter, give me the special set please.
W : here u go sir..
C : waiter, why is this one smaller than than the one i got yesterday?
W : señor.. today, the matador died..

Grey hair

S(son) : mommy, why do u have a gray hair?
M(mother) : it's because u are naughty. the naughtier u are, the more gray hair i will have.
S : owh... really?
M : yes.
S : then.............. why are grandma's hairs all gray?
M : ......

7 words of wisdoms

1 . one that loves will become weaker, but only those who knows weakness can become stronger.
2. if u want to catch 2 birds, make sure u get both.
3. don't follow the ones near you, make them follow u.
4. yesterday was history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today's a gift. that's why it's called present.
5. talent without practice is like a gun without a bullet.
6. i don't leap over the hurdles, i walk through them.
7. become the one that falls from a tree, not the one that falls into a well.

i got all of this from movies and books. they really motivate me. i hope it motivates u and make yourself a better person. :)

p/s : if u have more of these or u don't understand the ones above, plz leave a comment. thanks! :)